I went to lunch yesterday with a friend & brought Ruby along. Ruby sat in her highchair & banged her toys on the table, threw them on the ground, squealed reapeatedly, started crying after she smacked herself in the face with a toy & then put out her arms for me to hold her. Those reaching arms of hers render me powerless. She owns me with those reaching arms. I see them & I'm compelled to hold her. Do you know how long I've waited for reaching arms? Far too long to be sensible when I see them. As Ruby wiggled in my lap reaching for my fork, plate & anything else within her grasp I struggled to contain her. Our server walked by at about this time & said, "Honey you're not going to eat a full meal until she's 18. Hang in there." I laughed at the truth of those words. The thing is, a few months ago an experience like this would've left me a bit stressed out & flustered. But somewhere around Ruby's 7 month mark I feel like I finally hit my stride & became more comfortable in my role as a mother. I stopped worrying so much about who was watching & what they were thinking. It was the same way when I got married - it took a little while to feel like a wife & not like I was just playing house. I feel like a mother now.
