"Precious jewel you glow, you shine, reflecting all the good things in the world."
-Maya Angelou
The Day to Day
I was thinking today about what life was like before Ruby. It's becoming more of a distant memory & it's kind of strange to think there was ever a time when she wasn't here. I'm not sure what on earth we ever did without her. Well, I guess we did things like go to late night movies, or make last minute plans & there certainly was never a thought about packing house & home anytime we left. We basically did whatever we wanted & that part of our lives was really happy & fun. But this new life is even better. It requires planning & being really proficient with one hand instead of two & acting like a total idiot for a laugh. Today as Ruby & I were lying on the floor in her room surrounded by a sea of toys & books, she just looked over at me & gave me the sweetest smile & then giggled. And I felt like I was just going to burst from all the love I have for that girl. My days are filled with her smiles & laughter & incessant chatter. And lately she's thrown clapping & high fives into the mix. And as much as I want to freeze time & just keep her this way for a little longer, she just keeps getting better & better. And I'm kind of loving that she seems to think I set the sun.
Father's Day
When we first brought Ruby home from the hospital I was admittedly scared to death. Suddenly everything was just so real & serious & I was responsible for keeping another human being alive for crying out loud. And then there was Tyler. He was calm & collected. The boy who hadn't read a single parenting book just jumped right in & made it look easy. That's one of the things I love most about him - his very presence gives me confidence & reminds me that I can do anything with him by my side. I love watching him be a dad & I love watching the way Ruby loves him. She has turned into quite the daddy's girl & she can hardly contain her excitement when he walks through the door. He lets her drink on the counter in her diaper, he's messy & silly & has an endless supply of energy. Ruby is one lucky girl.
Battle of the Bow
This girl is more into jewelry than me these days:
Headbands, however, are another story:
She's doing this no less than 10 times a day. And every time she does it I use my "serious" tone & tell her "no". And then she laughs. And then I laugh. I clearly need to work on my "serious" tone.
Mama
For some time now Ruby has been babbling "dadadadada" all day long. It's adorable & no matter how many times I encourage her to say "mama" she just looks at me with her little smirk like she's holding out on me. But yesterday there was a distinct "mama" that came out of her mouth once & then again & again. You experience these amazing little moments as a mom when your child does something for the first time. I never could have imagined how fun it would be until I had Ruby. My eyes quickly became teary & I suddenly realized the power that one little word carries. It was a new kind of fulfillment. And while I know that in years to come that word will be yelled & muttered in annoyance or frustration, right now it is only said sweetly & I'm going to love it while it lasts.
Leading My Heart
Ruby has been a bit of a challenge lately - fussy, frustrated with her lack of mobility, & this conflicting blend of wanting me to be with her every minute while pushing my hands away as I try to help. It's been hard & has left me multiple times with my hands thrown in the air not knowing what to do. So I have decided to lead my heart & show it the way to happiness. Because if I were to follow my heart at this time it would only lead me to frustration. I'm leading this heart of mine to remember the good moments of the day, as there are many. I'm leading it to see that this little person that is challenging me is going to teach me a lot. I'm leading it to see the humor in a fit that resembles a mini seizure. And I'm leading it to start fresh each day with renewed patience & strength. I have found that sometimes my heart can't be trusted & so I have to change it & lead it to a better kind of love. And I'm finding it. I adore that baby like nothing else & I'm secretly pleased that she's so stubborn & strong-willed. This feisty little girl is going to move mountains.
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