Almost exactly 18 months ago a mother was born. As Ruby said, "Hello" to the world for the first time I became something new & different. Without any warning I was given a mother's heart, a mother's mind that never stops going (or worrying), a mother's responsibility & a mother's guilt. Ruby's very presence in this world did that for me. As I've watched her learn & grow over the past 18 months my belief in God has been strengthened & my understanding of His love for me has increased. When I look at that child of mine I see divinity. I know too well that anything that good & perfect has to come from God. And I'm reminded of it on such a regular basis as I'm filled with incomprehensible love & adoration for Ruby. I feel like I was always meant to be a mother & sometimes I think it's ironic that I had to wait so long to become one. But then I remember that this is exactly how my life was supposed to go. And I really feel that God gave me a precious gift by making me wait. And as I remember this I also remember to thank Him. Again & again & again.
And now as I try my best to suppress my baby hunger for another, I remember that I wouldn't have a taste for the sweet if I had never tasted the bitter. And so I'll try my best to start each day with a heart filled with gratitude for what I do have now, & know that the best is yet to be.
